Monster
by UselessInTheRain143
Summary: Marco and Jean are inseperable, but when Marco makes a huge mistake that costs a soldier his life, overcome with guilt and grief, Marco runs. Will they ever be together again? A Jean X Marco Titan AU.


Dedicated to Wildwolfforever, because of her love for Titan AU's.

Titans. Titans everywhere. Marco frantically scans the area, straining his eyes, searching for him. Where is he?! He has to find him, he has to find Jean, before it's too late. He sees a soilder fly past on his 3DMG, but doesn't pay any attention. It's not Jean, Marco knows. Being around Jean had a special feel to it, something he couldn't quite describe. "JEAN!" He shouts, dreading he won't hear a reply, although he's only half surprised when no answer is yelled back. No, this couldn't be happening. He couldn't lose him, not after everything they've been through. It wasn't fair! Why him? Why Jean?! Overwhelming anger and sadness overcame him. It couldn't be like this! What had they done to deserve this?! Jean hadn't asked to be killed! "Why?.." he asks aloud, to no-one in particular. "Why us? What did we do to deserve this? Those monsters. Those monsters took him from me. It isn't fair! Give him back!" In the middle of his anger induced thoughts, Marco brought them to a halt. He'd never though such vicious thoughts before...Jean always admired how gentle he was. The thought that his lover could be lying disembodied somewhere made him angry and broke his heart at the same time. A tear of rage and sadness fell from his eye. "CADET BODT!" He heard a voice call, but he didn't turn around. He knew who it was. It was one of the higher ups, who had a similar hairstyle to his and people often confused himself and the other officer. 'BODT, TITAN APPROACHING TO YOUR RIGHT! GET OUT OF THE WAY!" Marco couldn't move. The anger, hatred, loss and heartbreak were lingering in his soul. Jean was gone, and so he may as well be dead as well. Marco closed his eyes, just as he heard a loud crash next to him and felt a flash of pain in his cheek. He opened his eyes in time to see the 15 meter class titan crush the building next to him and a piece of slate cut his cheek. That was all he could remember before the world went dark.

The soilder that had been yelling at Marco previously stood and stared at the spot were the cadet had been in utter disbelief. How?...what?... Had Marco just?... So busy thinking, the officer didn't notice the titan looming over him until it was too late. He was lifted into the giant hands of the beast and was being mobed towards its mouth. There was an excruciating pain on his right side before life was taken away from his mangled body.

Marco blearily awoke to a thudding headache and an aching body. What..What happened? He sat up, before remembering. Jean. Jean was gone. Jean, with his smart remarks and his 'say-it-as-it-is' attitude. More tears dribbled down his cheeks, before he came to his senses. He really shpuld report back to the others, to tell them he's alive and explain what happened. He got to his feet before realising that he was on the other side of town. How had he gotten here? He couldn't remember a thing. He stood up and began walking back in the direction of the camp, defeated and heartbroken.

He walked for an hour or so before finally coming to a street he recognised. Wait...wasn't he here today already?. He was! He remembered the other soilder screaming at him to move, the titan destroying the house next to him and the shard of slate hitting his face. So he had blacked out. But that still didn't explain how he'd ended up on the other side of town. He turned a corner before seeing it. There, at the side of the road, was a corpse, with only it's left side remaining and teeth marks showing where the man had been bitten in half. A titan's work. But not just any titan. Marco's mind went into lockdown upon seeing the body, memories rushing back into his brain at the seed of light, memories of hurting people, destroying buildings, and worst of all, killing. His mind froze when he realised. He was a Titan. He was one of them. The titans that his friends hated so much, the titans that killed Jäeger's mother, and most importantly, the titans that had killed Jean. Marco had done this. Marco had killed the soilder that was trying to save him. Marco had killed Jean. He stood there in absolute horror as he came to his conclusion. He was a monster. The truth ripped his heart in half. He heard footsteps coming the opposite direction and he dashed around the corner, not wanting to be seen. He didn't deserve to be around anyone anymore, not after what he'd done. "Marco...Is that you?" His eyes widened and filled up with tears as heard the voice. Jean! Jean was alive! Daring to peer around the corner, he saw the familiar crop of brown hair. It was him! Jean! All he wanted more than anything in the world right now, was to run out and hug him, to kiss him and tell him he was alive, to stop being sad because it was okay now. But it wasn't. Marco had killed a person. He had injured more. He couldn't go back to Jean. He didn't deserve to. He didn't deserve the luxary of love when he had commited such a horrible sin. Jean didn't deserve a lover that had murdered, no, he was too good for that. There was only one thing to do, only one thing that would make things right. He had to go, run off and leave. He was a monster, he didn't deserve human company or human companionship anymore. He made his plans. He would leave tonight.

Darkness soon fell and he was ready to leave. For the remaining hours of daylight he had hidden in an old building and was fourtunate enough not to be found. There, he had carefully thought of a deserving punishment for himself. He would live outside the walls as a monster with his own kind, far away, nowhere near any humans. He never wanted to hurt them again. Marco took a deep breath just as he got to the gate. "Goodbye, Jean..." He whispered as another salty tear rolled down his cheek. " I love you." And then he slipped through the gate and was gone, running into the night.

Well, what did you think? Hope it was bearable. My first attempt at writing anything romance-y or angst-y, so feedback is much appreciated. :D


End file.
